How to Show Attention to Others

Objectives

Students are able to show attention to others by stating the expressions correctly and appropriately.

Learn about it!

What do you say when your friend told you about his experience on the last holiday?
What do you say when someone told you about his problem?
Can you respond to that in English?

When someone is telling you about something, the proper thing to do is to listen to them talking and then to respond to what they say. This manner shows that you are paying attention to what others say and that you show respects to them. However, how do you show them that you listen to what they say? How do they know that you pay attention to what they say? What should you do in that situation? In this lesson, you will learn about how to show attention to others. Look at the following dialogue.

Example 1

Beni : Hi, Roy. What a nice jacket!
Roy : Oh, hi Beni. Thank you.
Beni: Is that new?
Roy : No, my grandfather gave me this last birthday.
Beni : I see. That’s a really nice jacket.
Roy : You’re right. It’s comfortable as well.
Beni : Cool. Your grandfather has a good taste in fashion.
Roy : I guess so.

In the dialogue above, Roy tells Beni about his jacket. In order to show Beni that he pays attention to what Beni says, Roy says “I see”. You can say this as a way to show others that you listen to what they say. Take a look at another example below.
 

Example 2

Ranti gets a scholarship to college. He told his mother about it.
Ranti : Mum, mum….!
Mother : I'm up here. What’s wrong, honey?
Ranti : Mum, you know what?
Mother : What is it? You look so happy and excited.
Ranti : The announcement from the university I applied to was released this morning. My name was there and I got a scholarship for the whole semester.
Mother : Really? That's excellent. Congratulations honey! I'm so proud of you.
Ranti : Thanks Mum. I'm really happy right now.
Mother : I’m happy for you too. Let’s have dinner to celebrate it.
Ranti : That’s a good idea, mum. Thanks.

In the dialogue above, Ranti tells her mother that she just got the announcement that she is accepted into the university that she applied to with full scholarships. What does Ranti’s mother say to show Ranti that she listens to her? The last sentence said by Ranti’s mother suggests that she pays attention to what Ranti says. Her mother says “Really? That's excellent. Congratulations honey! I'm so proud of you” in order to show attention to what Ranti says. The bold phrases are another way to show attention to others.

In the following table are the expressions you can say to show attention to others. You can use these expressions to show them that you listen to what they say.

Do you understand?

The following dialogue is another example of how to use the expressions in a conversation.
Example 3
Dera : Hi, Sylvia.
Sylvia: Oh… hi, Dera.
Dera : Hey, you were absent for three days. Where were you?
Sylvia: My family and I went to Banyuwangi for my cousin’s wedding.
Dera : Nice. So, how was the party?
Sylvia: It was great, but something bad happened.
Dera : Really? What was that?
Sylvia: The bride’s father, who is my uncle, fainted during the wedding.
Dera : Oh my god. I’m sorry to hear that. Is he okay?
Sylvia: He is okay now. Thanks, Dera.
Dera : That’s a relief.

Keypoints

• By showing attention, you are also showing respect to the person you are speaking to.
• If you don't really get what people talking about, you can always say something like "really?", "that's great!", or just "wow!"
• The simplest way to show your attention is by nodding your head. It shows people that you are listening and paying attention.

Expressions of Sympathy

Objectives

Through this section, you will learn:
• How to express sympathy

Learn about it!

Bad things could happen to our life suddenly without warning in advance. It just happens and takes away the happiness. However, it is life, isn’t it?

Life is full of surprise. When bad things come into your life, what do you want to hear from others? Expressions of congratulation? Jokes? Or sympathy? Well, sympathy is what we need the most during tough times. That’s also what other people need to hear from us in their bad time. So, how to express sympathy? Let’s learn through this section!

Look at the picture. They are Dika and Rani. Does Dika look okay for you?

Look at his face. No, he is not okay. Let’s find out what happened to him from his conversation with Rani.
    Rani: Dika, are you sick or something?
    Dika: No, I’m not. Why did you ask?
    Rani: You look terrible, really terrible.
   &nbspDika: Well, I’m not okay anyway. Last night, bad thing happened.
    Rani: What is it?
    Dika: Raya sent a message to me. She wanted to break up with me.
    Rani: What! Oh, that’s awful! How come?
    Dika: She told me that she wanted to focus on learning.
    Rani: It’s reasonable. But, really, I’m sorry to hear that.
    Dika: Thanks.
    Rani: Anytime. Now, let’s grab some chocolates to cheer you up.
From the conversation, we know that Dika is not okay that day. He broke up with Raya, his girlfriend, the night before. We can see it from this utterance, “Raya sent a message to me. She wanted to break up with me.”
Rani knows that ‘broke up’ is a bad thing. It could make anyone sad. So, she shows her sympathy to Dika. From the conversation, she gives the sympathy twice. The sympathies are “Oh, that’s awful!” and “I’m sorry to hear that.”
Rani’s sympathy may not sweep away Dika’s sadness. But sympathy could make Dika knows that Rani does not ignore what happened to him. It shows that she cares. In case you need to express sympathy to your friend, the following expressions can be useful.
Formal

• What a terrible situation for you!
• You have my deepest sympathy.
• I do express my sympathies.

Less Formal

• I’m so sorry to hear that.
• I know how it feels.
• Oh, that’s awful/terrible.

Now study the following dialogue.
    Dika: Rani, I got two free tickets to the workshop. I’ll give one ticket for you.
    Rani: That’s very kind of you.
    Dika: Rani, did I say something wrong? You look unhappy.
    Rani: No, you didn’t. It is just something bad happened this morning.
    Dika: What is it?
    Rani: Well, I fell of the stairs. I hurt my ankle.
    Dika: Ow, that’s awful! Let’s go to the doctor.
    Rani: I have seen the doctor anyway. He said that it would take a week to heal.
    Dika: I’m so sorry to hear that. But don’t worry. The workshop will be held next week. You can still attend the workshop and have fun.
    Rani: Yes, sure I will.
From the conversation, we know that Rani fell of the stairs and hurt her ankle. Dika shows his sympathy by saying “Ow, that’s awful!” and “I’m so sorry to hear that.”

Do you understand?

Well, how is everything going? Have you understood the ways to express sympathy? It’s quite easy, right? Now, let’s try to challenge your understanding.
See the conversation below. The conversation is not completed yet. Fill the blanks with the provided utterances.
Minka: Marsha, there’s something different with you today.
Marsha: It must be the glasses.
Minka: Yes, it is. ....1. Why?
Marsha: Well, ....2. Yeah, you could guess what happened next.
Minka: You broke the glasses. ....3.
Marsha: Sure, ....4.
a. It’s terrible.
b. You wear your old glasses.
c. Oh, I know how it feels.
d. Last night I fell asleep with my glasses on.

Keypoints

From this lesson, you know that when someone experiences bad things, we need to express our sympathy. There are many expressions to show sympathy. However, you can simply say "I'm sorry to hear that" to express your sympathy.

Holiday Experience: How to Use Past Tense (3)

Objectives

1. Differentiate simple past tense from past continuous tense by identifying each tense in a sentence.
2. Use simple past tense and past continuous tense correctly to tell about holiday experience.

Learn about it!

You went to a really good place last holiday and your friend asked you about your experience having a holiday in that place. What will your reaction be? How do you tell them about your experience? In this lesson, you will learn about how to use past tense in order to tell your holiday experience.

Experience can be defined as something that happens to you. Generally, it happened to you in the past. It can be childhood experience, events that happened last year, or even your holiday experience. Holiday experience happened to you in the past. Logically an experience is something that you face, something that happened to you in the past. Experience is life events that already happened before. It is something that you have been through before. So, when we want to tell others about our experience in the past, how do we tell them in English?

In English, there are several ‘tenses’ we can use that show the time at which an action happened. For example when we talk about something that will happen in the future we use future tense; when we talk about something that we are doing now we use present continuous tense; when we want to tell about something that happened in the past we use past tense.

Holiday experience is something that happened in the past, thus we use past tense to tell others about what happened. Read the text about holiday experience below.

Do you understand?

Pay attention to the first sentence. How do you know that the experience happened in the past?

Last weekend, my family and I wentto the beach.

There are two ways to analyze the tense:

• First, you can find the time that indicates it happened in the past, as in the example above you can find “Last weekend”. This phrase tells you that the event happened last week, which means it happened in the past.
• Second, you can see it from the verb that is used in the sentence. In the example above, you can read that ‘my family and I went to the beach’. ‘Went’ is past form of ‘go’, it indicates the use of simple past tense.

The next sentences in the text above are also written in past tense:

1. First, my father checked* the car. ‘Checked’ is past form of ‘check’.
2. It was in a good condition, so we were ready to go. ‘Was’ and ‘were’ are past form of ‘be’.
3. Before we went, my mother cooked the meal while my father and I were packing our things.

In this sentence, there are two clauses joined by ‘while’:

a. Before we went, my mother cooked the meal; and
b. My father and I were packing our things.

The first clause uses simple past tense just like the other sentences. It is indicated by the word ‘cooked’. This is the past form of ‘cook’. However, there is something different with the second clause. It uses past continuous tense instead of past tense. Past continuous tense indicates an event that was happening at a particular time in the past. So, the event ‘my father and I were packing our things’ was happening while ‘my mother cooked the meal’.

Keypoints

Past Tense
In past tense, the verb that you use is in the past form. For example:

• I did my homework.
• She studied math after class. The above structure is examples of simple past tense.

Past Continuous Tense
In past continuous tense, you use was/were + the –ing form of a verb. ‘Was’ is used for singular (I, she, he). ‘Were’ is used for plural (they, we).
Example:

• I was taking a bath when you called.
• We were going to the mountain, but the storm came.

Direct and Indirect Speeches

(REPORTED SPEECH)

Objectives

• Understanding the concept of reported speech.
• Shifting direct speech into reported speech using appropriate tenses.

Learn about it!

Dad: Andy, please tell mom to pick up your sister at 9 p.m. I will have a meeting tonight.
Andy: Okay, Dad.

Andy: Mom, Daddy told me that he will have a meeting tonight. He asked you to pick up Anna at 9 p.m.
Mom: Okay, thank you Andy.

Reported speech is commonly used in spoken text/ conversation. In daily settings we can find people do this reported speech when they want to share information to friends, families or the other without changing the exact meaning (Not the exact words since the tense may slightly vary). This is why reported speech is also known as ‘Indirect speech’.

The idea of reported speech is similar to the situation when you receive a message or information from somebody then, you tell someone else about it. The channel of information goes from the person telling the information to you, yourself, the person hearing the information from you. In that case you are the 2nd speaker and the other person whom you share the information with is the 3rd speaker. See the illustration below!

The difference between direct speech and reported speech is on the use of the original words from the 1st speaker. In direct speech we repeat the original 1st speaker exact words but in reported speech we say the exact meaning without using the 1st speaker original words, or called reporting. The consequence of reporting what you hear from someone to someonelse is the changes in tenses, especially when we turn direct speech into reported speech. See the table below!

Do you understand?

Read the text carefully and turn the direct speech into reported speech!

You have just received a call from your uncle. He is a professor, teaching in a well-known university in this country. In his conversation with you, he gives some tips of becoming a successful university student. He guaranties if you do all of the suggestions, you can be successful. He mentions rule number one, “Study at the same time.” Rule number two, “Start with the most difficult subject first”. Rule number three, “Do your homework today.” And rule number four, “Have a study group with your friends”. You tell your friends that a professor gives you four tips of successful study in the university. Your friends are very interested to know what the tips are. One by one they start asking you to tell.

Rendy: Can you tell us the tips of successful students from the professor?
Aldo: What is the first rule?
You : (1) ....
Ivan : What’s next?
You : (2) ....
Erik : Then the third?
You : Did our homework today
Aldo: What is the last?
You : (3) ....
They: Thank you for sharing the secrets.
You : My pleasure

What would you tell your friends about the rule number one? Choose the correct sentence ....

a. He mentioned that the first rule study at the same time
b. He mentioned that the first rule studies at the same time
c. He mentioned that the first rule studied at the same time
d. He mentioned that the first rule studying at the same time
e. He mentioned that the first rule to study at the same time

Hint:
What tense is used to tell the tips?

Explanation:
The correct answer is, ‘He mentioned that the first rule studied at the same time.’ We can see in the third answer that the tense which is used is simple past. The other answer must have the same tense.

Direct speech: Study at the same time (simple present)
Reported speech: Studied (simple past)

What is the second rule? Choose the right asnwer below ....

a. Start with the most difficult subject first
b. Starts with the most difficult subject first
c. Is started with the most difficult subject first
d. Was started with the most difficult subject first
e. Started with the most difficult subject first

Hint:
Which answer is using simple past?
Explanation:
The verb is start (V1) and started for V2 (simple past)

The third advice to be a successful university student is ....

a. Studied group with your friends
b. Has study group with your friends
c. Have study group with your friends
d. Had study group with your friends
e. Having study group with your friends

Hint:
What is the verb? Change it into simple past!
Explanation:
The verb is have (V1) and had (V2)

Keypoints

• There is no comma after said in reported speech.
• The word that is optional, it can be omitted.

Encouraging Others

Objectives

Through this section, you will learn:
• How to encourage others in different situations

Learn about it!

Have you ever got a hard situation in your life? Do you feel better when someone encourages you?

       In this life, happiness and problem will come and go. Once the hard time happens, encouragement from people around will help you to feel better. Encouragement might not lessen your problem nor change the situation. However, it shows that you are surrounded by the people who care on you.

       Imagine, your friend is good in singing. One day, she is going to follow a singing contest and very nervous. What are you going to say to encourage her? There are so many expressions you can say. Here, we are going to learn how to give encouragement.

       However, there are other expressions that can be used to encourage others. Let’s see. Encouragement can be given in two situations. First, encouragement is given when someone has a problem.

For example:
• Failing the exam
• Failing to be the winner in a contest

Second, encouragement is given to someone who is going to face a remarkable event in their life. Here are the example of the situations:
• Going to have an exam
• Going to follow a contest

What do we say?

You can use these expressions to give encouragements:
• I know you can do it.
• I’m with you.
• Well done!
• You will do better next time.
• That’s okay. You have tried your best.

Look at the conversation between Nina and her friend, Marissa.

Situation: Marissa and Nina are checking the result of their English Language exam.

Nina sees that Marissa looks sad.
Nina: How is the result?
Marissa: It is not good. I fail the exam.
Nina: Don’t worry. You will do better next time.
Marissa: What about you?
Nina: Mmmm, well, I pass the exam.
Marissa: Nina, I’m happy for you.

From the conversation, we know that Marissa failed the exam. Nina encouraged her by saying Don’t worry. You will do better next time.

Try it!

A. Complete the conversation by using the expressions of encouragement you have learnt.

Situation: Danny is a swimming athlete. Before the competition is begun, his friend, Dika, comes to meet him.

Dika: When will the competition begin?
Danny: It will be on 09.30.
Dika: How do you feel, Danny?
Danny: I’m a litle bit nervous.
Dika: ....
Danny: Well, thank you.

Solution:
The conversation can be completed by some expressions, such as:
• Don’t worry. You can do it.
• I know you can do it.
• My support is with you.

B. Look at these expressions. Pair the situations with the appropriate expressions.

Solution:
Here is the appropriate use of those expression.
Situations: (A) Your friend is practicing a speech for a speech competition in front of you.
Expression: Well done!

Situations: (B) Your friend fails a contest.
Expression: That’s okay. You’ve tried your best.

Situations: (C) Your friend is going to have an exam.
Expression: I know you can do it.

Expressing Annoyance

Objectives

Learning competency: responding the meaning of formal and sustained transactional (to get things done) as well as interpersonal (social) conversations that use various spoken language expressions accurately, fluently and acceptable in the context of everyday life, involving expressions of annoyance.

Learn about it!

In this topic, you will learn how to express annoyance formally and informally. Read the following explanation carefully.

Expressing Annoyance

What do you feel when someone accidentally pour coffee to your new shirt or step on your new shoes? What do you feel when someone interrupts you in the middle of your speech? You must feel annoyed, don`t you? In every day’s life you often find impolite people or those who make mistakes unintentionally to you. Being in this situation, you usually feel annoyed or upset.

It is important to keep in mind, though, that no matter how upset you are, you cant just express your annoyance as you want. Stay in control and avoid being rude. You need to express it appropriately by looking at the situations and who you are talking to, so that you wont find yourself irritate other people.

Annoyance is an unpleasant feeling that may lead to anger and frustration. Its not a bad emotion if you dont express it aggressively. The term ‘bad’ here means destructive. Expressing annoyance in a good way will show other people your true feeling and give them chance to apologize and change their behavior. In other situations, proper expression of annoyance can serve as a way to remind and warn others about the unpleasant actions, treatments, service, etc.

Expressing annoyance in formal situation:

In expressing annoyance, you should consider the timing and who you are talking to. In formal situations, you can use the following expressions of annoyance.

• I’m getting very irritated.
• I’m a little irritated
• I’m really disappointed
• I’m getting very annoyed
• I’m very annoyed.
• I’m extremely displeased with …
• … is extremely irritating.
• I’m extremely unhappy about this.
• It really bothers me.

When can we use those expressions? Possible situations that you encounter are:
* Feeling annoyed for somebody’s words, behavior, actions, in formal situations such as in a meeting, conference, or speaking to people you respect.
* Feeling annoyed for a bad service when staying at the hotel, or eating out at the restaurant.
* Feeling annoyed to people older than you, of those who you respect.

Expressing annoyance in informal situation:

The followings are some expressions you can use to express your annoyance informally. You can use them to talk to your close friends or people you know quite well.

• Oh, no!
• Oh, dear!
• What a nuisance!
• It makes me mad.
• For goodness sake!
• For heavens sake!
• I can’t believe it.
• I can`t take it.
• It really gets on my nerves.
• I can’t stand it anymore.
• It drives me crazy.

When do we use the above expressions? Informal expressions are suitable for more casual situations. We usually speak in casual manners to close friends and siblings. It is very important to remember, although you have a close relationship with someone older than you, it doesn’t mean that you can express your annoyance casually. Showing respect is a must!

Do you understand?

Example of dialogues

1. Situation: in a photocopy shop

Fotocopy operator : Can I help you?
Randy: Yes, please make 5 copies of this file. Thanks.

(5 minutes later)

Fotocopy operator: Here are the copies. It will be 2000 rupiah.
Randy: Oh, no. I forgot to bring my wallet.
Fotocopy operator: We open till 7 PM, leave the copied files here, and we will wait for you.

Discussion:
The expression typed in italic is an informal expression of annoyance. Randy is annoyed because he forgot to bring her money and can`t pay for the copies.

2. Situation: at school

Principal : Can I see the school report from the assessor?
Vice-Principal : Certainly, Mr. Handerson. Here it is.

(5 minutes later)

Principal : The report said that we did not have enough computers for
the IT class. I think I have told Mr. Brown to order more computers. How could this happen? I am really not happy with this situation.

Discussion:
The expression typed in italic is a formal expression of annoyance. The principal is annoyed because the school do not have enough computers like it`s supposed to.

Keypoints

·                     When you express your annoyance, you should pay attention to the expressions you use. Choose formal or informal expressions according to who you are talking to; and where you are at the time of speaking. You also need to remember not to use offensive expressions because you can irritate other people`s feelings.

·                     To add emphasis to your feelings, you may add adverbs of degree in your expressions to show others how annoyed you are, such as extremely, very, really, pretty, fairly, quite, a little.

Formal vs Informal Compliment

Learning Objectives

In this lesson, you will learn formal compliment and how it differs from the informal one.

Lesson

In the lesson under the topic giving informal compliments, you have learned about complimenting a person in a casual way. Here, you will learn how to compliment a person in a more formal way. The following dialogue is based on the following setting.

Settings:
Mr Simon and Mr Jan meet in a party at their friend’s house. Mr Simon comes with his wife who is wearing simple yet elegant black nightgown.
Note: Pay attention to the parts in bold.

Mr Yaya: Hello, how are you?
Mr Simon: Fine, thank you. How are you?
Mr Yaya: Very well, thanks. Nice party, isn’t it?
Mr Simon: Yes nice. However, nothing compares to how my wife looks tonight.
Mr Yaya: Oh yes, of course. Mrs Simon, you are looking wonderful in your gown.
Mrs Simon: Thank you. That’s a nice compliment. My husband gave this as a present for my birthday.
Mr Simon: You deserved it, my dear. (Mr Simon says to his wife)

In the dialogue, the expressions in bold are the way people give compliments. The dialogue also shows how to respond to a compliment formally. It is important to remember, when people say polite things to you, you should respond them politely, too.

Here, Mr Yaya is complimenting Mrs Simon who is wearing simple but elegant gown by saying “You are looking wonderful in your gown.” Getting this compliment, Mrs Simon thanking Mr Yaya by saying “That’s a nice compliment.”

You can use the above compliment or you can choose one of the following formal compliments expressions:

You are looking beautiful today.
May I be so bold as to compliment your blue outfit
May I pay you a compliment? You really look elegant today.
I hope you don’t mind, but you are looking great today.

Tips

The above compliments are used when you want to show your admiration to a person’s appearance in a formal way. When it is a person’s skills or possessions to admire, you can choose the following expressions.

Complimenting someone’s skills

I admire your ability to sew.
My compliments on your cooking.
You are a fine writer.
I must say you really know how to sketch.
You can really subtitle.
If you don’t mind my saying, you are an incredible artist.
What an amazing singer you are!
I wish I could draw as well as you!

Complimenting possessions

What an interesting view you have from your bedroom.
I couldn’t help but notice your beautiful hair.
What a lovely smile you have!
You have such an obedient monkey.
You have such a cozy house.
I have to admit I’m jealous of your achievement.

Key Points

So, what are the differences between informal and formal compliment?
* Formal compliment is longer than the informal one.
* Formal compliment is used to compliment a person that you don’t know very well, while an informal compliment is delivered to a person that has a close relation to the speaker.